My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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