If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
