Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
