cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
it glows. i had to have it.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
