She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
