is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize