I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
