I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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