why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
