i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
