After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
