I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
