That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
