Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
