i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
