Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
