I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
