I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
