Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
