Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
