i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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