How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
