the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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