I cockslap morals
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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