with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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