Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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