im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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