So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
