No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
