just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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