I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
