Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
