you turned your livingroom into a bong?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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