so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize