Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
