you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
