"it" just moved
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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