i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize