I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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