Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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