Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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