Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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