My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
