Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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