also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
