If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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