im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
