Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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