one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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