I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
