Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
