We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize