So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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