they need to just BURY HIM!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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