dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Let's paint friendship bongs
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
