Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
