Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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