the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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