speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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