Yo dont text me then not text me
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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