My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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