I'm really into asian looking animals
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
