Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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