Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
