if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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