Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
