I don't think brook has ever known best
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
