so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
