Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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