I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize