Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
