Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i think i just lost a toe
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
