Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
