You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
