I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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